"Not to be able to grow old is just as ridiculous as to be unable to outgrow childhood."  Carl G. Jung

I refuse to dye my hair and I am going grey.  And while I take very good care of my skin -- especially my face -- I am aging.  I, like so many others, feel younger than I look.   While it is sometimes startling, shocking, surprising...most of the time it feels really great.  I like aging.  The knowledge about myself and life is noticably different than ever before and I can feel it growing.  

Yet I am often asked why don't I dye my hair and I explain:  I am aging and I feel it is incumbent upon women who are aging to do just that:  age.  Show younger women that you can age with grace and that aging is mostly pretty positive.  I tell them:  you are never going to be younger than you are today.  Enjoy it!

We would never want a child to not grow older.  That's what we want from children -- to grow up and be happy.

Whatever age you are:  as you grow old, enjoy!  

Today's quote is from Dr. Seuss aka Theodore Geisel.  If there ever was a wise person, he was it.  

"Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind."

One of my wonderful friends told me about a very close friend of hers who has always felt that she said too much, was too honest, too big a person for others to handle and so she was always trying to make herself smaller.  

When I heard this,  I wondered:  what would it be like if everyone just showed up as they really are and  really spoke the truth? 

Could it be that it would be amazing?

  

 

Harold Pinter, brilliant communicator,  d. December 24, 2008

"The speech we hear is an indication of that which we don't hear.  It is a necessary avoidance, a violent, sly, and anguished or mocking smoke screen which keeps the other in its true place.  When true silence falls we are left with echo but are nearer nakeness.  One way of looking at speech is to say that it is a constant strategem to cover nakedness."  - Harold Pinter

Harold Pinter died yesterday.  I read the above quote in his obituary in The New York Times today.

I understood Pinter's point to be that speech is there to avoid authenticity.  To be naked is to be authentic.  The social contract is to be clothed.  

I wonder:  Is the current global crisis going to change the social contract?  Could it be that authenticity will be the new social contract?

Today's quote is from Dr. Seuss a man who had special talents with words (to say nothing of his images).

"Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause people who mind don't matter and people who matter don't mind."

I chose this today because last night my daughter and I were discussing all the stupid things we say when we either aren't thinking, are stressed out or are just plain being human.  

She asked if we were the only people who said stupid things.  I, of course, wonder this myself, but told her that, no, it is part of the Human Condition.  We all do it.  

I told her that when someone says something to us that is thoughtless, we are called to be compassionate and understand that it just their moment to put their foot in their mouth.  Our turn will come soon again to be the one to put (sometimes jam) our foot into our mouths.  We decided that we hoped when we did it, others will be compassionate with us.

Getting Zen about Dr. Seuss.  Wisdom at it's best.

The quote today is from Arthur Rubenstein, the great pianist.  His words of wisdom are:

"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back."

This year I continued to really learn about how it is, as John and Paul wrote years ago, all you need is love.  

This year, I really read (versus the other years when I just sort of read)  "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn and while I first applied it to parenting my daughter (with excellent results), I have discovered that if I unconditionally appreciate --  love -- everyone I come into contact with, life loves me back much more.   We all desire to be loved.   

It's a path less travelled, but well worth it.  

So, today, love life.  You will receive love in return.  

Wisdom Works Now...Life Balance


It seems as if people are yearning for life balance. Some want quick and easy techniques to achieve life balance. Others want a slower and longer approach. As I think about how to coach people so that they achieve life balance I think of it as a path, like the rest of life, that is winding and interesting at best, frustrating and confusing at other times.

To begin on the path one can start with a question: What are your values? Depending on the list that comes from this question, one can gain insights into what is truly important and see the space between values held and the way time is spent. The larger the gap, the deeper the next step becomes when one evaluates the question...

What are you doing when you are being authentic? Authenticity is the key to all things that bring fulfillment, happiness, joy, true love and satisfaction. Without it, one is living a life meant for someone else. With it, one is living life for themselves. Selfish...absolutely NO. It is about taking care of self so that others can benefit.

Once authenticity is defined and understood, balance can be achieved. What is called forth is the relatively clear path that needs to be followed to achieve balance.

Oh, yeah. And that's when the work begins.

"There is only one success -- to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morely

Wisdom Works Now...On Line

Wisdom Works...the next wave in personal and professional transformation is back on line with a renewed, user friendly website. Thanks to Tamar Wallace for taking the bones of the original website and making it so much more accesible. She is a wise web designer.

Check it out: www.WisdomWorksNow.com.

And as my grandfather, Jack Maibach, always told me: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.